Joke

GM-13 - This case is taken from ... en me vriendje houdt van mij: 23 verhalen uit het leven gegrepen, edited by Ben Füss and Gorrit Goslinga (Eindhoven: Stichting Uitgeverij NVSH, 1981).

Summary of the case of Joke (30)

Joke’s parents started running a café when she was almost eight years old. They had boarders, two of whom had their own room. The rest of them only stayed for a couple of months and then left again. There was no bathroom, only a toilet upstairs with a washstand. They all had to wash themselves there. They had to undress and go naked to the toilet.

One of the boarders, Herman, met her while she was going to wash herself, when she was around ten. Before that, Herman had shown his attraction to her by allowing her to polish his shoes more often than her step-brother, for pocket money.

After they had met while she was going to the toilet, they secretly arranged to meet each Saturday as she went to wash herself. At first he only looked at her while she was washing herself. After a few times, he started to touch her body.
Later on, he also stimulated her sexually in her room, playing sexual games with her.

She liked it. He caressed her all over, including her vagina. She remained passive and he showed his appreciation by giving her some extra money or helping her with her household chores. She used to wonder whether this was meant as a kind of payment, which would make her something of a whore (a concept she did not find particularly attractive), but now she realizes it was just a token of affection.

She also asked him to enlighten her about sexual matters, for example how he got an erection. He showed her, but never tried to have genital sex with her, though he entered her vagina with his finger. He also told her about menstruation. In general, he always tried to help her and be nice to her.

They became close and after he had a very serious accident, which damaged his back, she visited him very often until her father did not allow her anymore. He died a few years later.

The relationship lasted for about three to four years and she really felt attached to him and liked being with him, and vice versa. She thinks the sexual contacts helped her in her sexual development.