Cases of positive memories of erotic and platonic relationships and contacts of children with adults, as seen from the perspective of the former minor
T. Rivas, 2012
Ipce is a forum for people who are engaged in scholarly discussion about the understanding and emancipation of mutual relationships between children or adolescents and adults.
Ipce has given me the opportunity to publish this collection of positive memories of intergenerational relationships and contacts of children with adults.
This may seem surprising in this age of widespread disclosure of sexual child abuse and an almost general societal consensus that 'pedophilia' is by its very nature morally wrong. We're living in times in which more and more cases of sexual child abuse are being revealed, which, in itself, should be applauded. Unfortunately, associating real and shocking child abuse with any type of 'pedophile' relationship appears to have become a Pavlovian response, to the extent that many consider it outrageous even to discuss the very notion of positive relationships.
However, as this collection tries to show, there is a considerable number of cases in which the relationship between a child and an adult is remembered as consensual, positive and psychologically harmless by the former child. Due to contemporary taboos, it is very difficult to give such cases the attention they deserve as a mostly ignored part of reality.
Many of these cases are derived from other collections with the collectors' permission, for which I'd like to thank them. Any articles and books from which the testimonies are derived are, for the reader's comfort, mentioned in the text itself as well as in a separate general list of references. If no specific source is mentioned, the case was taken from an internet forum or website that is no longer online.
The reader should be well aware that I'm not claiming to be the first or only person to give attention to such cases. I fully acknowledge that this book is part of a much broader tradition. Major examples of other names in this field are: Frits Bernard, Edward Brongersma, Theo Sandfort, Terry Leahy, B. Rind, P. Tromovitch, R. Bauserman, and Tom O'Carroll, etc. (See: Literature)
In general, we see that positive "child love" relationships really occur in all combinations:
This category refers to contacts that occurred outside a significant love relationship, simply for the sexual gratification of both partners. This phenomenon deserves respect, but it is quite different from affectionate and romantic relationships.
That makes 137 stories in total
These stories are followed by a Discussion.
My central thesis is that 'pedophile' relationships, i.e. horizontal affectionate relationships between a minor and an adult outside the child's family, should be judged on their own individual merits rather than on the basis of the sex or age of the child.
My main criteria for including a particular case in this collection are:
All of the cases included, but
the platonic ones, have a physical erotic aspect.
Consensual sexuality between adults and minors is based on forms of erotic contact that may occur in relationships between two minors.
Taken together, these cases clearly appear to establish the following facts:
Positive child love relationships occur in all combinations (boy-man, boy-woman, girl-man, and girl-woman).
This collection should not be used to promote the idea that all kinds of 'pedophile' contacts are morally sound or that real sexual abuse would be relatively harmless. It aims exclusively at an increase in awareness of positive, consensual intergenerational relationships with children and at the societal acceptance of such relationships.
I wish to thank everyone who helped me collect these cases or correct the English. Among them, I owe special thanks to Dr. Frans E.J. Gieles.
Readers can reach me at < firstname.lastname@example.org