What's harmful?Harmful to Minors is a controversial book that examines our cultural
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| On one hand, that we recognize teens as sexual, and we respect some of their autonomous decisions about their own bodies. | |
| At the same time, we recognize that they're vulnerable. They're vulnerable to adult exploitation, to disease, to all kinds of other stuff. |
And so, we balance this respect for them with protection of
them, and as in all child-rearing, that balance is going to shift
toward autonomy, away from kind of watching over them and knowing
better as they get older. And the best way to protect them is to
prepare them for the autonomy that, eventually, they are going to have.
CL: Let's go to Chuck, calling us from Eagan. Chuck, welcome to
Midmorning.
Chuck: Hello.
CL: Hi.
C: I just wanted to say that I can really relate to what the
author's trying to say. My family totally discouraged any kind of
talk about sexuality. It was thought of as an evil thing; you
weren't supposed to do it, it was bad. And we just didn't talk about
it.
And I was sexually abused several times by babysitters --
actually, three different ones. I couldn't talk about it, and it
turned out I wound up enjoying it. I wound up having this double
life, and developed into a sex addict. I'm now in recovery,
thankfully, but I think things would have been much different, had
my family and the community I lived in which, early on -- we were
Catholic.
We weren't after about 10 or 12 -- but if they'd been much
more open to talking about it and considering it a normal part of
life, and teaching me the difference between good and bad, I think I
had some very serious consequences because of that.
JL: Thanks, Chuck, for calling. I got a very moving email from a
women named Charlotte Vale Allen, who is the author of Daddy's Girl.
It was one of the first memoirs of abuse -- and it's sold, I think,
probably millions of copies since then -- but Charlotte said to me,
she herself was the victim of long-term aggravated sexual abuse. She
said, "I firmly believe that an educated child is a child who has a
chance of protecting herself against sexual abuse."
CL: You are saying in your book that the parents tend to worry about
the wrong things -- or at the very least they have misplaced
concerns -- that they think there's an epidemic out there of, say,
of pedophilia, or Internet porn, etc. You decided this example of
this woman who said, "Children need to be educated so they can
protect themselves against abuse", but my understanding is you think
that we worry too much about that particular kind of abuse. I mean,
how many kids do we know-
JL: Well, you know, it's really hard to know how many kids are being
abused because the definitions are so wide. They're broad. Any
amount of sexual abuse is too much. I am trying to put in
perspective how much sexual abuse there is out there. That is not at
all to minimize the pain that a child might go through undergoing
such a thing and having to recover from it later in life.
So, I'm not saying we should never worry about sexual abuse. I do think
we should worry more about incest than we should about strangers,
because that's what the statistics show us.
CL: We're talking to Judith Levine. [ ... explains, invites ...]
CL: Among the many critics of this book is Robert Knight.
He's the director of the Culture & Family Institute, an affiliate
of Concerned Women for America. He joins us by phone right now.
Mr. Knight? Welcome to Midmorning.
Robert Knight: Well, thank you for having me on.
CL: Now, what prompts you to say that this book is evil? That seems
like a very strong assertion.
RK: Yeah, well, I've read the book, and it makes the case that
consent can be given by children in terms of sexual relationships
with each other and with adults.
CL: Now, I'm going to stop you right there, if only because I had to
make Judith Levine go through the same definers. When you say
children, what age groups are you talking about?
RK: I would say minors. Say, under 16. This isn't just a legal
issue. We're talking about varying degrees of maturity in the part
of children, but you know, the law does have to draw a bright line
at some point. And states have varying laws governing age of consent.
CL: All right. So-
RK: But I'm talking about mainly children. I would say prepubescent,
maybe just slightly post-pubescent.
CL: But we just talked-
RK: Certainly not 17 or 18. I'm talking about 16 and under.
CL: Okay, well -- and just to make sure that we're clear -- because
in talking to Judith Levine, she's made it very clear that we're
talking about children, and when those under the age of 12, she's
not making the assertion that it's good for them to have a sexual
relationship with someone older.
RK: Well, not someone older. She does encourage them to masturbate,
to have sex with each other, to touch each other, to explore sexual
topics; in other words, to sexualize these kids before they really
know the importance of sexuality.
CL: Well-
RK: One reason we've always protected children is because sex is not
just another human activity. It has profound lifelong consequences
from new life to sexually transmitted diseases, to the formation of
families. I mean, it's at the heart of morality itself.
CL: I'm going to make sure I under-
RK: She trivializes morality in this book.
CL: Well now, hey, and Mr. Knight, we'll give her a chance to
respond in a moment here, but I just want to make sure I understand.
You're saying that, for instance, you think that it is morally evil
to say that it's alright for a child under the age of 12 to masturbate?
RK: I think it's morally evil to encourage children to masturbate,
because it gives them a false sense of what sexuality is about. This
runs entirely against the Judeo-Christian view of sexuality as an
important component of life, but one that is still governed by moral
disciplines, and is best activated within marriage.
In fact, it's the only place where it's really safe is within marriage, because
outside marriage, you're risking not only physical harm, perhaps an
unwanted pregnancy -- the risk of abortion -- but all sorts of
emotional damage.
CL: Now, and I'm going to stop you-
RK: I mean, when people have sex early, they've got all those
phantom lovers in their heads, and that's one reason we've had so
much marital break-up in this country is that early introduction to
sex before people are ready.
CL: Okay. Mr. Knight, you say that the really only good place for
sexuality is within a marriage. I guess that would lead us to ask,
what about people who aren't allowed to get married? What about gays
and lesbians, for instance?
RK: Well, I believe homosexuality is inherently unhealthy and
immoral, so, we shouldn't be encouraging anybody, if they have
desires in that direction, to go ahead and act out.
You know, this idea that 'because you have an appetite for something,
you're entitled to act it out' is one of our modern myths. If that were
true, we'd be living in chaos. In fact, we're approaching sexual
chaos, as the Internet's flooded with pornography, as you see more
and more sexuality and foul language on television.
Most parents aren't worried about too much censorship as Ms. Levine
worries about. Most are worried about shielding their children from this
predatory culture that is openly sexualizing their kids and
encouraging kids to explore sexuality, and without any regard to the
people on the fringe who will be put over the edge by this.
You know, just because you see some sexual thing and don't go out and
rape somebody doesn't mean it doesn't have a profound effect on you.
Research by Donnerstein, University of California, Santa Barbara,
showed that teenage boys seeing run-of-the-mill porn films were far
less likely to think rape was a big deal, and much more likely to
think women really wanted to be raped. They got a completely
different, wrong view of women's sexuality from pornography.
CL: But I would argue that this book is not a porn film, Mr. Knight.
RK: No, but it takes a pro-pornography stance and ridicules any what
it calls censorship of pornography.
CL: Mr. Knight? Where in the book, exactly, is it pro-pornography?
RK: The whole book is pro-pornography. I mean, have you read the
whole book?
CL: I have been able to read large portions of the book, and I guess
my question to you would be, have you read the whole book? Because
all the interviews I-
RK: Yeah, certainly have.
CL: All the interviews I read with you say that you have 'thumbed
through it', which I have empathy for, by the way, but-
RK: Since then, I have actually read the book, cover to cover.
CL: Okay, great. Great.
RK: Because I think I owe Ms. Levine that.
CL: Okay. Well, speaking of Ms. Levine, I'd like to give her a
chance to respond here. Judith Levine?
JL: Well, it's hard to respond, because I probably disagree with
almost everything that Mr. Knight has said, but I would focus on one
thing: His contention, and that those of others who agree with him,
is that children and teens would not otherwise be sexual if we
weren't sexualizing them or encouraging them -- those are the words
that he used -- to be sexual, that is, through advertising and
media, or through violence and coercion.
Throughout the world, and certainly every single scientist and child
development expert and psychologist, and I would say parent, who's
ever seen a child or known a child, understands that children are sexual.
Kids don't need to be encouraged to masturbate, they masturbate!
Masturbation is probably the most universal behavior that is the most
universally reviled. Kids go through all kinds of hell and pain and worry
because they think they're sinful or bad or sick if they masturbate.
Everybody does it.
The other thing I would say is that I think you can get an idea of
Mr. Knight's worldview, but I think I might say a few things
about Concerned Women for America. The organization was
founded in the 80s to defeat the Equal Rights Amendment for women,
it has run a long campaign against the teaching of what they called
'The lie of evolution' in public schools; it's also campaigned
against the so-called 'Gay agenda', and says that gay teachers
become teachers so they can molest children. And most important to
our discussion, it has been among the primary opponents of
comprehensive sexuality education.
That's the kind that 90% of American parents say they want for their
kids, the kind that talks about everything.
In attacking SECUS, which is the main advocate for
comprehensive sex education, CWA said that SECUS "Promotes
promiscuity, pornography, abortion, homosexuality, masturbation,
incest, and pedophilia". So, in their view, all sex educators are
advocates of pedophilia.
CL: [... explains ... invites ...]
CL: Now, Mr. Knight? Ms. Levine? We're
going to go to some calls now. We have David-
RK: Well, I think I ought to be able to respond, because she
attacked my organization pretty harshly.
CL: Well, then we'll go ahead and we will give you a chance to do
that. Oops. There we go. Sorry about that, Mr. Knight.
RK: Hello?
CL: You're back on the air.
RK: Okay. Concerned Women for America is a conservative Christian
women's organization. I think you grossly misrepresented some of the
organization's positions. But what I will say is that, in fact,
Concerned Women for America is for the traditional view of
sexuality; that it's a God-given thing, it's to be exercised between
husband and wife, and that when it gets outside marriage, it hurts
people.
Concerned Women for America does oppose homosexuality as a
moral problem and also physically. It's very dangerous. The medical
textbooks and studies are full of the dangers of homosexuality,
especially for men.
And for SECUS and Planned Parenthood, and the organizations that
Ms. Levine traces as her pedigree in terms of views of sexuality,
they're promoting all this stuff and ignoring that millions of people
are coming down with sexually transmitted diseases.
When you mention 'Comprehensive sexuality education', and
saying that Concerned Women for America attacks that, boy, you're
right, because that education basically says, 'all kids are going to
do it, so let's give them condoms and teach them safe sex'.
And that has resulted in several million girls every year getting human
patholoma virus, which is incurable. Condoms don't do a thing
against it. Repeat: They don't do a thing to halt human patholoma
virus, and all cases of cervical cancer are traced to human
patholoma virus that kills five thousand women a year.
CL: Mr. Knight? I'm afraid-
RK: Now, how can you-
CL: Mr. Knight? Mr.-
RK: -defend the kind of-
CL: Mr. Knight? I'm so sorry, but I need us to stay on track here.
We're discussing a particular book. I'd like you to at least stay
focused here. And if you could very, very quickly, just tell us
succinctly, what are the dangers of this book as you see it?
RK: Okay. I think it grossly misrepresents sex education. It quotes
a number of pro-pedophilic authors, merely identifying them as
sexologists and psychologists, but they've been promoting sex with
kids for years, out of journals out of the Netherlands.
She seems to see no limits to sexuality of any kind, with kids or with
adults, you name it. The age of 12; most parents can't see their
12-year-olds having a sex relationship with an adult, but Judith
Levine's saying, "Well, as long as the child consents, there's no
harm done and we can't prove there is."
CL: All right, now, I'm sure that we could continue this debate with
assertion and counter-assertion. I would like to weave in some
callers. So, Mr. Knight, Ms. Levine, we are going to go now to John
in Minneapolis. John, welcome to Midmorning.
John: Thank you very much. My question is in regard to this book --
I have not actually read the text -- but, is it meant to be viewed a
textbook for parents? For kids? I mean, who's the target market on
this book?
CL: All right. Well, let's go to Ms. Levine.
JL: Hi, John. The book was written as a trade book for parents, for
teachers, for policy makers, psychologists; one of the people who
reviewed it said that she thought that teens should read it, too.
So, it's written in a popular style, it's not a textbook at all.
CL: All right.
RK: Yeah, I'll have to agree with that.
CL: I'm going to go to David in Richfield. David, welcome to Midmorning.
David: Hi. Good morning. Was a very level-headed discussion until
just recently, but I find that the whole premise of this book is
good in promoting good talk around what people do, irregardless of
what we as parents would like our kids to do, and I find it
interesting that we're having an argument with someone who espouses
a religious objection to sex, when indeed, most of the ancient
religions viewed their children -- or what we would call children --
as adults, at for example, age 13. And now, suddenly, this has
become very wrong, because of our puritan attitudes in this country.
So, I'm really enjoying the healthy part of this discussion and
would appreciate further comments.
CL: All right.
JL: It's interesting what you said about children, and how children
have been viewed in different times of history. One of the things
that my book tries to take apart is what we think what is a child.
And indeed, the idea that the child is this kind of distinct
creature, who is innocent of all sexuality, is a pretty new concept,
historically -- it's only about 150 to 200 years old -- and, you
know, in the 17th century, at 7 you could be a scullery maid, at 13
you could be married, at 14 you'd be a soldier, and at 18 you'd have
kids, and by 40 you'd be dead. So, we have extended, I think, the
period of childhood further and further and further, and in America,
I think we do it longer than they do it in Europe even, where I
think kids are less sort of infantilized than they are in the United
States.
CL: Let's go to Robert Knight, quickly. Mr. Knight?
RK: Well, first, I'd like to answer the gentleman who called in.
This mischaracterization of my position as being 'against sex' is
nonsense. We're not against sex. We think it's wonderful. It's a
gift from God. It's best experienced between husband and wife, and
outside that, it creates all sorts of problems. It's at the heart of
family life, to channel it into marriage. Different cultures have
approached it differently, but all cultures, you will find a marital
component, because they know that that is the source of kinship,
social stability -- the best environment to raise children.
We protect children from sex not because they're not interested in it
at all unless we teach them -- of course kids will have a natural
curiosity -- but we know that sex has huge consequences, and that
children cannot possibly understand those implications.
That's why we have an age of consent. That's why we try to shield our
children from premature exposure to sexuality. I don't see anything out
there on the scientific horizon that is credible that says it's okay to
expose kids to sexuality without any restraints and it'll be good
for them. The only thing you will see that poses that presentation
is the North American Man/Boy Love Association, which Ms. Levine
quotes in her book with that attribution until you get to the footnotes-
JL: No, I do not.
RK: -in support of that idea that kids ought to learn sex early.
CL: I think that's a mischaracterization. We're going to go to Kevin
in Mankato. Kevin, welcome to Midmorning.
Kevin: Good morning.
CL: Hi.
Kevin: My question is for the author about what we were just talking
about in terms of -- I see this issue in a larger cultural context
outside of just sexuality involving keeping children in the dark
about a lot of different things until about the age of 25, and
extending the age of childhood until about 25, and I'm interested in
your comments on that. I'll take my answer off the air.
CL: Okay, thanks.
JL: It's kind of an interesting contradiction at the moment which is
that, on one hand, there is an attempt, I think, to sort of keep
kids ignorant and infantilize them and not give them responsibility
or obligations as citizens, and at the same time, of course, kids
are availed of every kind of knowledge, of every kind of media,
because the mass media cannot segregate audiences by age.
And so, in some ways, I think kids -- not only around sexuality, but around
the marketplace, around war, around commerce, around work -- are more
like adults than they have been for centuries. At the same time,
we're trying to keep them very distinct and different from adults.
So, history is sort of working at loggerheads with ideology.
RK: We're trying to protect children from the surge in pornography
that's flooding the air waves and the Internet. And, by the way, I
don't think it's impossible to differentiate audiences.
Television used to do it for years; made sure that sexually explicit or even
indecent imagery and language was kept off when children were most
likely to be watching. They just dispense with that and gave up, and
said, 'Aw, the heck with it. We're going to sexualize kids whether
parents like it or not. It's up to them to turn the television off.'
I think that makes Hollywood a very irresponsible actor in our community.
CL: We are talking to Robert Knight, director of the Culture &
Family Institute. That's an affiliate of Concerned Women for America
-- conservative Christian group. We're also talking to Judith
Levine [... etc. ... invites to call ...]
We're going to go to Mike. He is calling us from St.
Louis Park. Mike, welcome to Midmorning.
Mike: Yeah, good morning. I would first like to offer the argument
that Mr. Knight had said that some of these views in the book do not
coincide with the Judeo-Christian view of sex. I don't think that
the Judeo-Christian view of sex should enter into our laws.
I think that we're a society of humans, and that most people agree
that religion is not the way to base our societal rules, because it
obviously creates a problem.
But I'd like to talk about a relationship I have. I'm a 19-year-old
college student. My girlfriend is 17, and we are sexually active.
And I think that both of us were ready for that. It brings a great deal
of happiness to us, and I'd just like to say that I take a bit of offense at
Mr. Knight saying that such a relationship outside the context of
marriage would almost definitely be damaging in way. I find it very
fulfilling for both of us.
RK: Well sex is fun, there's no doubt about it, but whether you go on-
M: Well, no, that's not what I said-
RK: Whether you go on to marry this girl, it really shows whether
you really respect her or not, because otherwise you've got one foot
out of the relationship when you're cohabiting, or just having sex
with a person. You're not making a lifelong commitment, and that's
what will eventually lead to greater happiness. I mean, don't you
want to have a family someday and have kids?
M: No, actually. Neither of us want to have kids at any point. And I-
RK: Well, you're 19 now. That may change when you're 25.
M: Oh, I recognize that.
RK: You never even evaluate any-
JL: Can I interrupt here?
M: I don't think that the-
CL: Shh!
JL: I'm 49, and I've had a relationship for ten years; a very long,
committed relationship. We are not married. My partner and I intend
to stay together for the rest of our lives, so we help us take care
of our parents and each other's homes and lives and community and
work.
I am as committed to this man as any married person, and I
also resent being told that my relationship is less committed or
less meaningful because I don't have a marriage license.
RK: Well, all I'm saying-
CL: I need to interject here. Excuse me, Mr. Knight. I just want to
interject. Judith Levine, here we have a 19-year-old who's with a
17-year-old. Is this what you're talking about when you-
JL: I'm really happy to hear from him, because-
RK: No, they're older.
JL: -because I think one of the main points of my book is, let's
listen to young people about their real lives. It sounds to me like
he has a happy and healthy relationship with his girlfriend.
He says he's committed to her; I believe him. We need to listen to kids and
not just tell them what they think and what they feel, and those
people who balance their own adult perspective, which is, of course,
very important. That's why we guide kids. That's why we educate
kids. That's our obligation with listening to them and their real
experiences. So, thanks so much for calling.
RK: Every time I hear the moral rules being broken, the standards
being lowered, it's always, "Let's listen to the kids and have them
tell us what they know." It's as if older people haven't acquired
any wisdom over the years.
JL: Didn't I just say that we have an obligation to guide them?
RK: Well, then why should we guide them if they already know where
they're going? I think we have an obligation to teach them, and what
you're saying is, "Let's leave it up to them to make their own
choices, largely. We might be guides, but we certainly can't tell
them what's right from wrong."
JL: Yes, we can.
RK: I think parents, in particular, have an obligation to tell the
difference between right and wrong. In schools, in drug programs,
they don't tell kids, "Here. You have a choice between toking up or
dropping acid or doing what you want. We'll give you the pros and
cons, but it's up to you to decide whether you're going to get into
drugs or not." We tell them it's wrong. We know it's going to hurt
them.
When it comes to sex, we've seen many people hurt by premature
exposures to sex. We've seen millions of children aborted as a
result of sexual experimentation, and yet we're told we should just
leave it up to the kids -- maybe guide them a little, but let them
explore their own feelings and desires. This is a recipe for disaster.
CL: Mr. Knight? We need to get a few more calls while we have time
here. We're going to go to Pedro in Minneapolis. Welcome to Midmorning.
Pedro: Hi.
CL: Hi.
P: I was kind of saddened listening to this. I'm a pretty
conservative Christian. I guess what I'm saying is that it doesn't
have to be, "Sex is bad". It's not like that. My mom raised me with
a really healthy attitude toward sex and it was for marriage, but
not at all scared of it or that it was bad, but that it was for
marriage and it's beautiful. Very open about it. And I guess I was
kind of disappointed with -- I can't remember his name -- the guy
here against -- I guess he's speaking for me-
RK: I just think sex ought to be in marriage.
P: But you should've came prepared -- I'm sorry -- but you should've
came prepared. Saying, "She says this, she says this". Well-
RK: I've read her book.
P: Give some page numbers and say, "This is where she says it. Right
here. Quote. And here in the footnote it says, quote, page 173".
You know what I mean? But sex doesn't have to be, "It's bad". I mean, I
had a really healthy -- growing up with sex, and I was a virgin
until I was married, and to me it wasn't -- I don't know, it wasn't
a bad thing.
And then one more thing about, 'The kids are going to
have sex anyway'. Well, kids is having as much sex as before,
because you see, all these kids with kids now -- were there that
many illegal abortions going on? Or because you say they're going to
have sex anyway, but where were the kids?
JL: There are as many abortions in countries that have illegal
abortion as those that have legal abortion. The difference is that
women who have abortions in countries that prohibit it tend to die
from them.
RK: But in the United States, there were very few abortions before
it was legalized in 1973-
JL: Not true at all. There were many abortions, and there were many
deaths from abortions.
RK: There weren't over a million a year. I don't think you can
validate that. People generally-
JL: There was a high proportion of women dying from illegal abortions.
RK: There were a few-
JL: And then there was also a high incidence of teen marriage. In
the 1950s, America had the highest number of teen marriages of any
country in the industrialized world.
CL: I'm-
JL: I think you might be able to look at those and say that's why we
had so much divorce in the 60s and 70s.
CL: And I'm afraid that I need to interject here. We have run out of
time for both of you. Robert Knight, I appreciate you coming on this
morning and giving us some of your time.
RK: Thank you, Catherine.
CL: Robert Knight is director of the Culture & Family Institute, an
affiliate of Concerned Women for America.
Judith Levine, I thank you for your time this morning.
JL: Thank you.