Applications to this Approach:
The approach is especially appropriate for those seeking personal
growth. It can be useful for clients who are experiencing a developmental crisis (career
or marital failure, retirement, transition from one stage of life to another). Clients
experience anxiety rising out of existential conflicts, such as making key choices,
accepting freedom and the responsibility that goes with it, and facing the anxiety of
their eventual death. These existential realities provide a rich therapeutic context.
Techniques of Therapy:
Few techniques flow from this approach, because it stresses
understanding first and technique second. The therapist can borrow techniques from other
approaches and incorporate them into an existential framework. Diagnosis, testing, and
external measurements are not deemed important. The approach can be very confronting.
Contributions of this approach:
The essential humanity of the individual is highlighted. The
person-to-person therapeutic relationship lessens the chances of dehumanizing therapy. The
approach has something to offer counselors, regardless of their theoretical orientation.
It stresses self-determination, accepting the personal responsibility that accompanies
freedom, and viewing oneself as the author of ones life. Further, it provides a
perspective for understanding the value of anxiety and guilt, the role of death, and the
creative aspects of being alone and choosing for oneself.
(Back to the New York Times 9/4/97)
) This was a major change from the strictures of Freud and
Adler, who attributed what they called neurosis to single causes: sexual repression and
conflicts in the subconscious in Freuds case, or unfilled desires for power and
feelings of inferiority in Adlers. To Frankl, behavior was driven more by a
subconscious and a conscious need to find meaning and purpose. (
. On his first day, Frankl was separated from his family; later he and
a friend marched in line, and he was directed to the right and his friend was directed to
he leftto a crematory. He took an older prisoner into his confidence and told him
about the hidden manuscript: "Look, this is a scientific book. I must keep it at all
costs." He said the prisoner cursed him for his naivete. They were stripped and sent
to showers, and then a work detail. Their own clothes were replaced with prison clothes,
and the manuscript was never returned.
But late at night in his barracks, he began recreating it in on bits of
paper stolen for him by a companion. These notes were later used for "Mans
Search for Meaning." In it, he wrote that once the prisoners were entrenched in camp
routine, they would descend from a denial of their situation into a stage of apathy and
the beginning of a kind of emotional death. As their illusions dropped away and their
hopes were crushed, they would watch others die without experiencing any emotion. At first
the lack of feeling served as a protective shield. But then, he said, many prisoners
plunged with surprising suddenness into depressions so deep that the sufferers could not
move, or wash, or leave the barracks to join a forced march; no entreaties, no blows, no
threats would have any effect. There was a link, he found, between their loss of faith in
the future and this dangerous giving up.
Frankl said he began to see the implications of his earlier writing as
it became apparent that the only meaning in his prison life for him was to try to help his
fellow prisoners restore their psychological health. "We had to learn ourselves, and
furthermore we had to teach the despairing men, that it did not matter what we expected
from life, but rather what life expected from us," he wrote. "We needed to stop
asking about the meaning of life but instead to think of ourselves as those who were being
questioned by life, daily and hourly. "Our answer must consist not in talk and
medication, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the
responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it
constantly sets for each individual."
Many of the delegates to recent IPCE meetings will remember a small
elderly, lightly bearded, English gentleman who recounted his brushes with the officialdom
of his country with much gusto and not a little glee. John Miller was clearly a person who
enjoyed a good fight.
During the last year, his health deteriorated with growing age and the
onset of the cancer which was finally to end in his death in October 1997. Those who knew
him however will not be surprised to know that he was fighting to the end.
He was the linchpin of the now celebrated documentary 'The Devil among
us' in which pedophiles spoke direct to camera for the first time (at least in the UK)
without being in sinister shadow or silhouette. The documentary was so contentious that
its publication was delayed and regrettably John never saw the finished result on screen
as it was broadcast early this year and therefore some months after his death.
Nevertheless, in it he had both the first and the last words. It was a fitting epitaph to
his pugnacious life.
At the same time he was writing his autobiography and much had been
committed to his word processor by the time of his death. It is our great loss that all
this has passed to his family and it is feared that it is now lost forever.
THREE YOUNG MEN
As a contrast to this In Memoriam to four old wise men, let's search on
the web, the medium of the young, and listen to what they want to say in their youthful
wisdom. I selected three and I add the translation of an article by me about the last one.
Spike: BE A ROLE MODEL
STOP PROTECTING ME!
David's home page
[Part of another page >]
TO MY FRIEND
My friend, My love
What difference is there between one rose and another rose,between two
open petals of a flower?They say our love is different,
that Im not mature enough to love,
as if love, and feelings,
were things of age.
What difference is there between one love and another love,
between one kiss and another kiss?
I am jealous of those lovers
that stroll their joy of love
through the parks, the theaters,
that scream to who ever will listen
that they are happy and filled with bliss.
Why cant I show you off,
proudly displaying you to the world,
happy as I am
to have you near,
to admire your sincerity,
to count on your tenderness?
Some time weve had to lie,
say that uncle and nephew we are,
as if that degree of relationship
were any more pure, more clean,
than this immense love
that we have for each other.
Why do people differentiate
between one rose and another rose,
between one petal and another petal,
between one love and another love,
between one kiss and another kiss?
Thats why today, difficult times for us,
I want to tell you, simply,
in spite of everything and everyone,
that I love you,
that I am your friend,
that you are MY FRIEND, MY LOVE.
[Part of one of the letters David received >]
We Boylovers are stigmatized by this hypocritical and puritanical
society that we have to live in. The media mixes the murderers, the rapists and those of
us that love boys, all in the same box, as if we were all the same. They talk about
"networks", when they should be simply talking about murderers (they dont
talk about networks when they arrest a group of adult murderers). There is a real
witch-hunt against us, making us appear before the publics opinion as real monsters.
Many Boylovers exist that are traumatized by social rejection,
stigmatized, "pathologized", alienated
Many Boylovers commit suicide as the
only means to escape their own situation, from detest of their own feelings, from fleeing
their own tendencies. The same as when some years ago the homosexuals were the feeding
ground for the greatest social, medical, psychiatric, political, police related, and
religious persecutions, nowadays it is us the Boylovers that have to endure the propaganda
campaigns that come down on minority groups (maybe not such a minority?).
We are few the Boylovers that can achieve the ultimate happiness
through a relationship with a partner that fills and transforms us into normal and
perfectly content human beings. As you say very well, there is no difference between two
loves. Love is love, always, it doesnt matter between who it is made. And I, David,
am the luckiest being on this Earth, because I have you, because I can count on your love,
your sweetness, with your intelligence (sometimes you overwhelm me), with your eagerness
towards life, with your stare always smiling. We understand and comprehend each other and,
as you also say very well, it is nobodys business what we do or dont do.
Through all of this your pages are a gift for any open mind that wants
to listen. You are doing a lot of good, there are a lot of Boylovers that are
re-discovering themselves by means of the normality in which you express your feelings.
There are a lot of people, as you have told me, that write to you to thank you for your
kind words, to tell you how important its been for them to be able to read your
opinions or enjoy those precious poems. And that, David, is priceless.
MANZIES PRICE WINNING ESSAY ABOUT
Found at [Site disappeared]
See next article!
Sam Manzie wrote:
A true friend is hard to find, but once you have found one, the
friendship can last forever. There are certain qualities that true friends have.
A true friend helps you out when you are in trouble, sticks by you
through hard times, and is someone you can count on to tell you the truth.
A true friend wouldn't just say what they think you want to hear and
wouldn't get mad at you if he/she disagrees with you.
A true friend will stick by you, even when the popular crowd doesn't.
Anything else is being a crowd pleaser, someone who values their own popularity more than
Also, a true friend is someone you can trust to talk to and share
secrets without fearing that they will become a public knowledge.
Even if someone has all these qualities, it may not be a true
friendship, because true friendships go both ways. All of the qualities that your friend
gives to you should be given back, otherwise one is taking advantage of the other and it
wouldn't be a true friendship.
True friendships are a very great and valuable thing to have, and if
both friends work together, the friendship can last a long time.
IN MEMORIAM: EDWARD WERNER, 11 years
And the well-being of Sam Manzie, 15 years
Quis custodet custodes?
By Frans NL, translated from the Dutch NVSH Lwg JORis Newsletter
CHAPTER 2: RECENT DISCUSSION ABOUT IPCE
RECENT DISCUSSION ABOUT IPCE
1. IPCE ??? MEETING ??? From Frans NL, IPCE Secretary
MEETING ? Until now, nearly one month before the planned date of the
meeting, I have received only a few replies. Seven persons have said they are coming to
the meeting; this includes our host and I. The co-secretary is not able to come. What to
do? If only seven persons will come to the meeting, the meeting will be a poor one and the
costs, to share among seven persons, too high. The costs six people should make to come
there are not in harmony with the benefit or advantage.
MY PROPOSAL IS TO CANCEL THE MEETING. It spares much cost that can
better be spent elsewhere. We can discuss things by E-mail in a quite effective way. It is
necessary to discuss about IPCE now. I will start.
IPCE ? In former years, the IPCE Meetings have had a benefit. People
and organizations that communicated seldom with each other could have direct
communication. The Newsletter could give information
Than came the Internet See at BoyLinks how many virtual organizations
there are now! Communication is very easy by the Internet. By means of the
BLCafe and or E-mail messages, each of us (I mean: the active people) can reach each other
and that is what is happening now. Information is easily to find on the web at several
places. In June, I have posted 75 invitations for the IPCE meeting. A large part of the
invitations had attachments: an account and a question. I received no more than 10 replies
until now, September. My conclusion is: IPCE is no longer needed. There are better ways to
communicate now. The times, they are changing.
IPCE has three kind of involved people:
Members, which are organizations. IMHO, these organizations do not need an IPCE now
Candidate members for countries where is no organization.
Subscribers and visitors.
Some of the candidate members, subscribers or visitors are active
people; they will find their way, I suppose. Others are 'lonely, isolated individuals'
which feel some support by IPCE. I suppose we could advise these people to subscribe the
NAMBLA Bulletin, the DPA magazine with the English supplement in
the future possible the OK Magazine with an English supplement and/or
to Koinos Magazine. I should advise them to save for a pc or to learn the ability to visit
the Web in a local library.
MY PROPOSAL is to Cancel IPCE.
The money can be spent to make the last Newsletters and to discuss this
proposal and alternative proposal. My FIRST PROPOSAL, to cancel the Meeting, HAS TO BE
DISCUSSED IMMEDIATELY! My second proposal can have all the time to discuss it.
Frans NL, IPCE Secretary.
2. Peter from USA was the first one who reacted:
October is an awkward month to hold a meeting. Although I agree with
you that there is no need for an IPCE meeting, had it been held in the summer when I have
my vacation, I would have enjoyed coming simply for the fellowship. NAMBLA is also holding
its conference in October. This is just one more reason why members of NAMBLA would find
it difficult to attend an IPCE meeting as well.
There may be a time in the future where an international organization
will again be needed. Right now, I agree with you that Internet communications will fill
the need for information exchanges.
3. The second reaction came from DDS, USA.
Frans discusses IPCE and concludes that the organization is not needed.
I disagree with you, Frans! The Internet does not take the place of
face to face meetings. There would probably be more people attending, but the cost of
traveling is prohibitive.
I would like to see IPCE continue to exist as an independent
organization. NAMBLA is having too many difficulties with police informers infiltrating
the Steering Committee and the leadership being outed by the media. Boy love organizations
in Germany and elsewhere also appear to be having difficulties.
There are advantages to having organizations scattered around the
world. Without some kind of face to face relationships I fear that leadership and
volunteers will dwindle until there will not be enough persons to keep web pages going.
The Web is impersonal, while local meetings tend to nurture the people who attend and
It was my understanding that OK Magazine was no longer being published.
I could not subscribe to it because some of the pictures might get me into trouble with
USA authorities. If the articles could be translated into English and the pictures
deleted, then those of us in the USA could benefit from the organization.
I am of the opinion that having more boy love organizations would be
better than having only a few. For one thing, where local meetings are possible,
brainstorming and planning sessions could produce new ideas that would enlighten all of
us. I miss being able to participate with others of a like mind. The breakup of NAMBLA
chapters has, in my opinion, almost crippled the organization.
Having just 10 persons at a meeting might be a good thing. Ted has
organized retreats for just a few people. Perhaps he could suggest ways to trim costs so a
few people can meet at little expense.
The group in Denmark is perhaps smaller and may also have fewer
financial resources than IPCE. Perhaps NAMBLA might underwrite some of the expenses for
your meeting. Also, why not consult with the Martijn group. Combining the two
organizations at this time might make sense.
Please accept the ideas above as merely brainstorming on my part. I
cannot advise you, Frans, because I am too far away to do so. I do hope IPCE will
continue. Just knowing it exists is a source of inspiration.
Thanks, Frans, for all of the organizing and your faithfulness in
keeping IPCE alive.
4. Next reaction by Arby, NL
I'm not a affiliated with IPCE in any way, although I have attended a
meeting a couple of years ago. To me IPCE was an important platform to discuss several
subjects while there was no other way to discuss these subjects. But, apart from
discussion, it was also a great way of meeting other people. I clearly remember going out
to dinner with some people from Berlin and Frankfurt.
The Internet isn't the perfect way for meeting people: I like to go out
and have dinner in a restaurant or do funny things in some city. The Internet is lacking
this completely. A couple of years ago, I felt the Internet was THE way of living: meeting
new people, discussing with many people online and so on. And because it's a patient
medium one can think and rethink before writing something down. But, focussing too much on
the Internet can hurt one's real life social contacts enormously. The IPCE meetings do
fill in the social aspects, and I would recommend the IPCE to focus more on the Internet
for the discussions and focus on more (!) meetings a year in several locations in the
world to fill in the [need for] social contacts and to discuss viewpoints which are 'hot'
at that moment.
I wouldn't stop the real life IPCE meetings before every aspects of
those meetings have been filled in another way. 6 people wanting to join the meeting this
year. That's not many. How come? People lacking interest? People afraid to go? People
getting tired of all those discussions? I think the most important reason is the last one.
But, if one will stress the social aspect of the meeting, how many people will take the
trouble and go there? I don't know. As of this meeting... Although I do not plan to go
there (why? I just don't feel to. If it were nearby, I would have gone but the surplus
value above Internet discussion isn't sufficient to justify (to me) the costs involved.
If only six people think it's wise to have this meeting, I think you'd
better ask those 6 people if they feel it's worth the effort. If not, then you'll just
have to cancel the meeting. I don't think other people should decide in this.
5. IPCEs Co-secretary reacts
I would be very sorry if IPCE were to fold.
It is a pity that we (or more properly myself) never managed to get an
IPCE news page off the ground. Loosing my Pentium to Customs and Excise on March 13th
didn't help. However, the real reason was simply that hardly anybody showed any
willingness to send hard news from their own countries. This would have meant that the
news service would have been dominated by UK news or at least international news gathered
(and, therefore, slanted) only from the UK press or wire services.
I agree also with the many comments about the social nature of the IPCE
meeting. When it was proposed that it be held in Greece this year the date was moved so
that we could get an hotel cheaply at the end of the holiday season and that those
participating could look around for similarly cheap 'end of season' charter air flights.
It was also envisaged (at least by me!) that anybody could stay on a few days more and
have an "ordinary" holiday out of the same hotel etc.
The hotel is not viable unless more than 15 attend. If less then they
could all be accommodated at an apartment or with friends. Can this still not happen?
I regret that I will not be attending. Frans knows the reason and will
communicate that to the meeting. It is certainly NOT that I consider that IPCE has been
superceded by the Internet - far from it.
I agree with DDS and Arby that we need to have good English
translations of the major information emanating from other language sources. I have spoken
many times on this, offering to assist with the English etc. But unless others are willing
to select and translate these articles we can do nothing.
6. From Danmark came the next reaction
I think that IPCE meetings should be held only every 4th year. The
discussions can be carried out much more effectively on the web, especially the BL Cafe
and the Danpedo forum, which unfortunately is down at the moment because of technical
We still need to meet, now and then, to put faces on the names and for
7. From Germany Paul reacted:
Most likely it is 1) the high cost, and 2) the time, why only so few
people plan to attend. In October nobody has holidays.
In general, I think that we should not cancel IPCE-meetings at all. But
we might consider to meet only every two years. Knowing each other from face to face is
very important and can not be substituted by E-mail-communication. Both are necessary.
8. From Greece came the next reaction:
I wonder why it's harder for people to take a leave in October rather than in the
summer (unless they're teachers). Here October is usually still a good month for
vacationing. Maybe we should be more careful next time when deciding the time of the
following conference, taking all pros and cons in mind...
I don't think the Internet or the Berry List are a substitute for IPCE or for IPCE
meetings, because I also enjoy the face to face discussions and the socializing, and not
once every four or two years, as it was suggested [in previous posts to the Berry List]. I
think we should try to have the meetings at as low a cost as possible, then maybe more
people will be able to attend them. Maybe we could have local meetings as well (e.g., one
in the US and one in Europe with the possibility to be attended either by Europeans or by
9. Our man from Austria wrote:
I personally do feel, that any communication within the international group should be
kept upright, and that one of the means for communication is definitely personal contact.
Of course, the increase in technology has increased our possibilities to communicate, but
there are several points, thatlimit the benefits of it:
Many people either dont have regular access to the internet, or feel technically not fit
to handle it, or cannot use it for some other reason.
Too many people are scared by the omnipresent cyberpatrols on the net. It is one thing
to discuss things like collecting stamps on the internet, where no real danger comes from,
but it is another thing to discuss a topic, which among 99% of the population (also on the
internet) is regarded evil and ... you know, and to know about the increase of technology
also can be used for prosecution of people. Any word you use can be in a list for
Word-scanners, which filter out potentially subversive mails. Internet is not a really
Many Web-pages I have visited from time to time have been closed down, especially in
Germany. Contrary as you stated in your e-mail I did not find it so much easy to find
Information on the Web. But maybe I didn't search the right places. And last, but not
While communication on Internet is surely one of the great developments within the last
years, it can never fully replace interpersonal contacts such as speech.
Of course I understand, that it is difficult and expensive, to organize an
international meeting, if very few people come, and maybe, we really could spare some
meetings, by, say arranging international meetings every other year only. But at least
once in 2 years we should have meetings, because this IMHO would really strengthen our
If I would not have been in [far country] now, I definitely would have gone to the
international meeting, and the next year, I will try to go there, if it is anypossible to
SUCCESSES AND FAILURES OF THE INTERNET
The Internet has been a tremendous blessing to me. Until I discovered
it, I felt that I was alone and that the feelings I had were evil because that is all I
had been told. Still, I could not deny the feelings I had and knew that I was not evil.
The friendships I have formed online are very important to me and I
gather strength from them. I believe that I can be a help to those who need a friend also.
Security remains an important issue but there are tools available that
can protect us if used properly. Privacy is still important to some and so these tolls
will continue to be available. Our security measures will at least provide us the liberty
to keep demonstrating our sincere love without the fear of our enemies being able to
The same anonymity that allows us to express our opinions and
experiences freely is what also allows people to deceive us into believing they are
friends. This would be true in real life also so I don't blame the Internet. Because we
can't look into their eyes to determine their sincerity, we must rely on instinct and
logic. I have been fortunate in that the one person who tried to deceive me ended up
becoming my friend because he came to realize that I genuinely love my girlfriends and
would never willingly harm them.
PROPOSALS FOR NEW NAMES: "SPICE"
From JNZ I received a series of letters last year, containing proposals
for new names. The letters were mostly handwritten in very tiny fonts and using every tiny
space on the paper. Thus, I made a selection by cutting and pasting to make a summary of
the proposals. Here it is.
Frans, secretary & editor.
Proposal 1: "SPICE"
The latest IPCE (International Pedophile and Child Emancipation)
Newsletter, number E2, October 1997, under the heading "The Name" states:
"Most of the members are not now content with the name 'IPCE'. The 'P' in it is too
dangerous for members in several countries The 'I' suggests 'an International Network', a
big organization. In fact, IPCE is only a meeting, a Newsletter report and an exchange of
information and opinion. However, no good alternative was acceptable for the majority of
the delegates". Active discussion on the Berrylist and elsewhere was invited
"about this continuing problem": hence this paper.
Of course I disagree, and hold that IPCE is of the utmost importance.
Globally, I also disagree with the IPCE approach. The word "International"
should be retained. We are into Activism, and we are not into the "Sex--Ring"
mentality. Also, purely for identity reasons we still need to make use of the 'P' word,
but it should be relegated very much to the background, and ameliorated somewhat by
abbreviating this word to "Ped". I advocate also that this word can be softened
by placing it in suitable context where it would be the Anagram that would get used - one
that would be inoffensive, and which would ring right to our ears. The Word (Anagram) I
strongly nominate is.