Stefan

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BM-60 - From: Benjamin Rossen en Jan Schuijer, published as 

Drie interviews: Johnny, Peter & Stefan, in: 'Het seksuele gevaar voor kinderen Mythen en feiten', edited by Swets & Zeitlinger, Amsterdam, 1992, and 

Interviews with three boys , in: The Trade in Child Pornography; IPT Journal Vol. 4 - 1992

Here's a summary of the Dutch interview with Stefan (19) on March 20th 1990.

Stefan's parents were divorced and he often stayed over Elly's. Elly was the sister of his mother's new boyfriend's. He got to know his adult friend Ferdi [the same Ferdi as in Peter's story] through Elly, when he was about eleven years old. 

"It was a lot of fun. We clicked immediately. We dived from the diving board and we played ball at the swimming pool." 

[Ö] 
After some time, Stefan slept over with Ferdi for about ten times while his mother thought he was staying at Ellyís place. Ferdi decided he wanted to talk it over with Stefan's mother, who accepted their friendship and even believed Stefanís behavior had improved considerably since he had been seeing Ferdi. 

"Whenever I felt like going to Ferdi, I went to see him, and if I did not feel like it, I simply did not go." 

"At first we just played games at Ferdiís place. And we went to amusement parks. We continued to do so later on [when they were also having sex]. And we also used to swim a lot together in the beginning. And we rode our bikes as well. And when I had to study or do my homework, Ferdi helped me with it. Yes, it all was a lot of fun." 

Stefan adds that they often also went to the dunes or played hide and seek with friends, or soccer. 

"I went to see him, simply because I liked him, because I thought he was nice. At that moment in time, I saw something of a father figure in Ferdi, because my parents had just been divorced." 

They started having sex after about two or three months. 

"It happened very naturally. I used to be a nudist, so I always slept naked. And so did Ferdi. And I just felt attracted to him." 

"Everything was exactly like in any relationship between a man and a woman, for instance. The first night we had sexual contact, we made love, by which I mean stroking each other and Ferdi gave me a blow job." 

After this experience, Stefan felt he had to cry because of the strange sensations the blow job produced in him, and Ferdi really tried to comfort him and felt guilty for putting Stefan through this. All the same, the sex became a normal part of their relationship. It more or less increased their emotional attachment to each other. 

In the end, Stefan realized that he liked girls and that's when the sex with Ferdi stopped. 

Stefan used to love Ferdi a lot and he still continues to love him. He considers him a very good friend and they talk a lot. Ferdi supported him and taught him important things about people and life. 

Stefan is convinced that his relationship with Ferdi had almost no negative aspects. He stresses that his relationship should not be seen as a surrogate for the insufficient parental skills of his father and mother; it was a goal in itself. 

There was only one negative experience related to the relationship, which concerned an erotic photo session by a friend of Ferdiís, Fred. Though Stefan enjoyed the session as such, he was afraid the police would discover the pictures. [Cfr Peter's story]

When Ferdi was arrested and sent to prison, Stefan remained in touch with him. The sexual contact had stopped already, but they remained friends after his release, and continued to talk and do things together. 

At the time of the interview, Stefan and his girlfriend were happily living together.

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