Sardonicus

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BW-07 - This case was posted on the forum at Pedofilie.nl by a person who calls himself Sardonicus. He revealed his real name to Rivas but has asked him not to disclose it to anyone else. 

At the age of seven, he had a sexual relationship with a young woman - he refers to as 'Liesbeth' - in her early twenties, the daughter of an old schoolmate of his mother's. The woman was studying to become a school teacher. 

She stayed over at the boy's place for a week during the Summer holidays, together with her mother. During their stay, the boy had to lend her his bed "for grown-ups" and temporarily return to his children's bed. He didn't fit in this bed anymore and couldn't fall asleep. That's when Liesbeth asked him to share the larger bed together. 

This turned out to be the beginning of a tender and erotic relationship, which physically consisted of activities like: fondling, caressing, kissing, hugging, undressing each other, etc. In the end they also engaged in mutual oral sex. However, their relationship was not at all limited to its erotic aspects, and it also involved things like going for a walk, having a pick nick, feeding the ducks and deer, going to the zoo, watching ships, going to the beach, playing with toy cars and animals, reading children's books together, etc. 

Sardonicus states that his experiences with Liesbeth were by far the most pleasant of his early years. He also states he used to be very proud of his ability to please Liesbeth so much and that this boosted his ego and self-confidence. He calls it a golden age about which he can still feel nostalgic. 

Remarkably, one of his sexual experiences with Liesbeth also involved a young girl around his own age, "Saskia" with whom Sardonicus also developed a separate erotic and multifaceted friendship. 

When Sardonicus later experienced some psychological problems which were in his view completely unrelated to his childhood experiences, a therapist tried to link this to the 'pedophile' relationship he told her about. This really shocked him as it was exclusively based on prejudices, rather than on his own story. He's very glad nobody discovered his relationship while it lasted.

He writes:

"According to prevalent opinions today, this experience should by definition have made me a 'serious victim', but I never experienced it like that. Now that I'm an adult, I never feel sexually attracted to children.

I have very good, warm, and dear memories of that sexual experience in my childhood; I wouldn't have missed it for the world. But if anything is a taboo nowadays, this is it."

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