"I was a child in a happy relationship with a pedophile."
GM-02 Beatrice Faust - She still remembers those days with gratitude
Australian author and women's rights activist Beatrice Faust recalls the tender and consensual love relationship she had as a young girl with her adult friend Ritchie.
"Not enough attention is paid to the female perspective in these relationships/flings. Its easy for society to paint the male as a
'monster', and the online communities that allow discussion on these issues are overflowing with inexperienced guys that drown out the voices of others."
"... a whole relationship; balanced in terms of emotional, intellectual and sexual intimacy.”
GM-05 Clara Schumann
"Such love as ours is rare and how cruelly were we parted!"
German Austrian composer Robert Schumann (1810-1856) first met Clara
Josephine Wieck (1819-1896) when she was only 8 years old.
This case could be considered a mix of a platonic friendship and a
erotic relationship, especially because their bond only became romantic
when she was around 16 years old. However, Clara had become aware of her
feelings when she was 15. We may conclude that her relationship started
as a real platonic friendship but developed into a romantic relationship
over the years.
An eighteen year old writes about being
raped as a child, as well as her consensual relationship with a nineteen
year old when she was twelve:
“I was in complete agreement with all
that went on in that relationship, and I was not at all
GM-07 Danielle Morrison
"We are still together and we have a great relationship"
Danielle Morrison was a female participant on Quora. She responded to questions on this website on a variety of topics, such as Islam, adult sexuality, rape, and medical conditions. Unfortunately, Quora banned her account, but does not mention why. It would not be surprising if this related to her standpoint on 'pedophile' rekationhips, but if this is the case, it is rather strange that this standpoint is still visible on the website. [...]
Here are the main parts of her testimony dated November 25th 2016, responding to the Quora question If a minor (13-15) enjoys a sexual relationship with an adult (25+), does that make it consensual? [...]
"I was 13ish when I consented to sex with my boyfriend who is many years older than me. We are still together and we have a great relationship. I look back and think “ why is everyone making such a fuss, we had fun and it worked really well”. [...]
"Now this was not a perv[ert] paying me for sex. He was more like a sugar daddy, but I did really love him."
GM-09 Explicitly consented
A woman recalls that, as a girl, she was initiated into sexuality by an adult man. He did so very cautiously and only after she explicitly consented to it. Everything happened with great care, slowly and considerately.
"From the age of around six, I've had a sexual relationship with a grown-up. It's been very nice and I have only good memories of it."
'I don't have issues that people that never did this kind of thing have.'
She recalls that she really loved Clay romantically, like a woman would love a man.
"Yes I know in the view of (sadly I think) many people, I was being used or even abused. But I'm sorry, I just can't see it like that. I was enjoying myself hugely, felt really good about myself and privileged that I was getting the chance to do what I wanted (even though I knew I wasn't really supposed to do it) and what made me feel good. I wasn't being forced
(I was even taking the lead as much as I could) and I think the main thing that makes girls feel bad about such experiences is that there is so much negative pressure from other people telling them it is bad."
"I think it is good for parents to realise that 12- to 13-year-old teenagers - who are supposed to be neither children nor adults - can sometimes be very intensively involved in erotic
GM-15 Irene Zhúkova
"Everything can be overcome if you love each other."
Alexander Schalvovich Porokhovschikov is a succesful Russian actor and film star who belongs to a noble family. His greatgrandfather was a patron of art, an architect and his uncle is Alexis the First, a Patriarch of the Russian Orthodox Church.
Porokhovschikov married Irene Zhúkova, who is around 30 years younger. She has been his muse, friend and soulmate. According to author Anna Velygzhánina they first met when Irene was only 13 years old and he was 42.
GM-16 It strengthened her self-confidence
A woman recalls her friendship with her dancing teacher. ... She also learned that tender, loving and satisfying sexual contact does not need to involve sexual intercourse.
"He's never done anything against my will, and everything happened with love."
"I loved him and gave my virginity to him"
She really felt attached to him and liked being with him, and vice versa. She thinks the sexual contacts helped her in her sexual development.
"In the summer of '67, a man gave a girl the innocent gift of her emerging erotic self. I wonder if I could receive it with such happiness and grace were I a girl today."
"And love is not a question of age."
'He was very much the love of my life during those years.'
"He's been great to me, gentle and sweet, and has never forced me to do anything.
[...] Not all of the meetings between older and younger people are
horrible, and people should make some distinctions."
"We had a normal relationship and I still see nothing wrong with it.”
All in all, Koekie concludes that it is a "beautiful story." She's mostly satisfied with the way things went and she feels she owes her best friend to the relationship.
What is less known about flamenco singer Camarón is that, in 1976, he married a gypsy girl, Dolores Montoya, whom he nicknamed "La Chispa" (the Spark). He had met the girl when he was 23 years old and he asked for her hand in marriage when she was only
Lori Mattix - "I saw David many times [...] and it was always great."
"I was an innocent girl, but the way it happened was so beautiful. I remember him looking like God and having me over a table. Who wouldn’t want to lose their virginity to David Bowie?"
"You need to understand that I didn’t think of myself as underage. I was a model. I was in love. [...] It was a period in which everything seemed possible. [...] Now people are terrified."
"Am I going to regret this? No."
GM-28 Lotte with a male teacher
"He was more like a boy a bit my senior whom I had under my thumb."
I was ten years old when we were sent to a camp for two weeks.
I somehow managed to slip my hand under his stomach. He was rather confused and very excited.
[...] I didn't say a word about what was happening, but I had the feeling it was really shameless.
This was far beyond the limits; I was absolutely, wildly fascinated.
[...] After this I started visiting him [...]
I thought I had a very special relationship with him. This continued even after we returned home from the camp.
[...] The initiative was always mine.
It continued through the whole summer. [...] And it was nice when he touched me. He desired me and I desired him.
[...] I was definitely not naive and was quite aware of what I was doing.
They are still together, have a son together and love each other very
Mary Ivanovna Gogol
"It is impossible to describe how much my husband loved me"
Mary Ivanovna Gogol (1791–1868) [...] married
[...] in 1805, aged 14, when the latter was 27 years old.
"Whenever I think of Roel, I still get a good feeling inside."
"... I feel absolutely no regrets about it.”
Mona and Jim
Mona fell in love with Jim Håkon when she was nine years old. She sent him a
love letter, and has had his picture hanging on the wall for ten years. And now they have been married for almost
three years and have two kids.
Nino Chavchavadze - The most important thing for her was Griboyedoff's glorious name.
Alexander and Nino married when he was 32 and she was 15. He died when she was only 16.
Nino later told her sister’s husband, David Dadiani:
“I could never imagine a happiness greater than my love for Alexandre Griboyedoff. Unfortunately, this love was kidnapped from me, and my happiness followed. My love is buried on Mtatsminda Hill, and my heart, still burning in love, lies in my husband’s grave. When this love disappears, I will also die physically and morally. There are many who cannot imagine this. They surprise me. They have probably never loved and cannot love anybody.”
"I've never had any regrets."
"During our relationship I did not see him as a pedophile, but simply as a man I passionately fell in love with and with him I had a passionate relationship.”
"I look back on it now as an odd but fine first experience; in fact I liked it so much that, when I went home, I asked if I could come and "play Eva" (as he called it) again. [...] It certainly has done me no harm."
"My current boyfriend, who is a psychology major at the local university, now tells me that I should hate that neighbor and his son for
'what they did to me, but I can't bring myself to do that. I enjoyed the intimacy, the touching, the emotional bonding that occurred. I was not
'molested', I was a willing and active participant in the whole process, and I am not scarred in any way by what happened."
Did you ever have sexual relations with adults during childhood?
Saggie: Not during childhood but as a teenager, from the age of 14. I had a serious romance with a constant partner from
the a ge of 15 till 18.
"There's nothing wrong with a beautiful friendship, and challenging each other is a natural part of this. "
GM-42 She learned about pleasure
A young woman writes that from the age of 8 she learned about pleasure, from her father's best friend. ... The man never forced to anything and he did not penetrate her. ...
"He simply is a good man and yes, he's a pedophile. I'd like to say: so what? [...] Life is not black and white.”
"He never asked anything of me that I considered inappropriate."
"He was much more responsive and much more concerned about me than the boys of my own age."