Anonymous

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''I was a child in a happy relationship with a 'pedophile'."

GM-01 - An anonymous female poster on a forum is obviously influenced by societal taboos when (in 2011) she writes about the man with whom she had a positive relationship as a girl

"There is a part of me that thinks he must be a sick man to have sex with a child." She also stresses: "I understand I am the minority and do not support adult/child relationships".
However she adds: "Just thought I would put my positive experience on to the radar.", and describes it as a beautiful, sexually fulfilling, safe relationship.

Here's her story

"I am now 31 years old but from the ages of eleven to thirteen, I was in a relationship with a 42-year-old man. I enjoyed the sexual instruction he gave me at the time and understood what we were doing was secret and taboo. It felt good and nurturing to be with him physically, emotionally, and sexually. The broken relationships were with my parents, which he helped to fulfil. I do not feel damaged in any way by the relationship and my memories of it are all generally happy ones. 

He was the father of my best friend. Lived two doors down from my house. He was a single father. I would go over to play with my friend and just stay an hour or so longer. I would also be allowed to sleep there at least two nights a week so I would stay in his bed once she fell asleep. 

The first time it happened was when I slept over. She fell asleep and I was in the kitchen. He took me into his room to watch TV as to not wake her. He started by light touching my legs. I don't know why, but I turned from my stomach to my back and opened my legs a little when he did that. He never forced it and kept asking if it was okay with me to continue. I told him it felt good. I was very interested in how it felt and for a long time he never did more then just light touching and exploring with his hands.

"It ended when I got a boyfriend at age thirteen, who was in my own grade. He [her adult lover] actually found me on Facebook three years ago. We chatted a few times back and forth but that was it. The conversation wasn't sexual. 

I agree it is abnormal and does not reflect the experience of the majority of people. I would not report him because I do not believe he would do this to a child who did not want to participate. I wanted to participate and he constantly checked to make sure that was still the case. I don't think our relationship reflects the typical adult/child sexual relationship which is usually non-consensual.

My feeling is that he was not a molester or a rapist. I feel he and I were in a loving relationship. I do not think he would have the desire to be in a relationship with someone who didn't have the developmental level to be in that kind of relationship."

She mentions one particular aspect she finds problematic

"I am turned on by things that make the men I am with in my adult years feel disgusted (liking to be called little girl, or calling him daddy)." 

Though she ascribes this problem to the relationship, the real problem obviously seems to consist of the way men respond to such predilections, based on the taboos surrounding any type of ''pedophilia''.

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