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7. Final remarks

Looking back on the IBLD

Most members and guests who participated in the IBLD said they were glad to have shared that day and to have met that community of "ordinary, normal people who were able to discuss serious topics in an open atmosphere." They spoke of having met a community, not isolated individuals. 

Most of the members and guests shared the observation that the boy love community they have met seems to be quite happy. Most of them do indeed prefer platonic relationships and they accept society as it is, and have adapted their style of living and their opinion to the society they actually live in. "Just normal people." 

All members agreed with the view that this community may be in phase one, but nevertheless forms the base of the pyramid and is important - and should not be forced into phase two, action within the group, and surely not to external, public or political action. Leave that for the few persons in phase three and let them form their own groups to discuss their ideas, views, opinions and actions. 

We might also view Ipce as such a pyramid, like all organizations, with a base that may 'lurk' and learn, a mid-group that is internally active, and a few who are externally active - for example by creating and maintaining and expanding a website with an extended and now quite famous library. 

Someone said that he found the IBLD difficult because of the differences in language and the consciousness that he was in the midst of attractive young people, which in his own country was totally impossible. 

Another said he had heard good things, like the existence of a telephone help line for people with pedophilic feelings, as well as their families and friends. He said he would try to open such a telephone line in his country, but also said that in his country it would be quite difficult to listen to narratives and to give advice without breaking the laws that actually fight against any kind of acceptance of feelings and relationships, surely pictures and even fantasies. It is a far better climate here, he said. 

"But they are oppressed," said someone. "They ignore problems instead of improving things. There must be depressed people who were not present and who do not post to the forums. And I heard quite serious problems expressed, such as being expelled from a sports club without having done anything wrong, only for holding an opinion. Their show of happiness reminded me of the song, The Tears of a Clown."

That is possible, others said, but it is better to be oppressed in a group than in lonesomeness and isolation. They do not feel oppressed, so they do not see the need for action, let alone public, political action. They live their lives, they adapt to society and are content with it. They make the best of it in the given circumstances. 

Note that this is possible in the Dutch society, which differs greatly from, for example, society in the UK and the USA. Note also that they are not radicals who plead for sex, but are content with going about with boys in platonic relationships, and that's it. This is far better than other societies that make this kind of contact impossible and that create no safety for children, but only fear, depression, obsession, suicide and radicalism. 

Looking back on the Ipce Meeting itself ...

... members and guests said they were glad or even excited to have met people, new members, guests, the IBLD community, committed and interesting people with good ideas - and in a good atmosphere of comradeship as well as serious talking and especially listening to each other, which asked for some level of discipline and self-discipline. Every one thanked our kind host, an NVSH Chapter. They thanked the chair, the group leader so to speak, for creating and maintaining such an atmosphere in the group. 

The chair himself, as always the last speaker looking back to the meeting, said that this meeting, just as the meeting in Athens in 1998, had 'not too many' members gathered, but had its own quality concerning the level of communication and the ideas presented and discussed. The breaks, lunches and traditional dinners were also important and pleasant, with their relaxed and friendly atmosphere. Thus, he thanked the members and guests for their participation.

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