You Might Be a Sex Offender If ...
Derek "The Fallen One" Logue, November 11, 2008; Once
Fallen
Links to the cases mentioned here below are here:
http://www.oncefallen.com/youmightbersoif.html
One of the prevailing myths in society is that everyone on registries
are all violent rapists or pedophiles.
However, landing on a sex offender registry (or even the prospect of landing on the registry) is a very real
threat. Over the years, I have collected some very outlandish cases which have either landed someone on
the registry or have at least made them potentially subject to placement
on the registry.
Some are sad, some are ludicrous, others leave you questioning the laws. However, it
is important to keep in mind how easily one can be caught up in the registries. Think about that next
time you look at a sex offender registry.
Thus, in the tradition of another popular comedy skit, I present to you
the following cases as "You might be a sex offender if ..."
 | You might be a sex offender if... you ever paid for a prostitute in
New York
|
| You might be a sex offender if... you use a stolen credit card to hire a stripper in New York
|
| You might be a sex offender if... You had sex with a teenager while
you were a teen yourself
|
| You might be a sex offender if... you ever got drunk at a party and
videotaped yourself having
sex with your teenage girlfriend
|
| You might be a sex offender if... you have ever given your kids too
much information when giving 'the birds and the bees' speech
|
| You might be a sex offender if... a topless woman has ever talked you into unwrapping your whopper in a public park
|
| You might be a sex offender if... anyone has ever accused you of a
sex crime in Ohio -- thanks to a 'civil' registry, you don't even need a criminal conviction,
only a civil conviction
|
| You might be a sex offender if... you ever participated in 'slap butt day' in school
|
| You might be a sex offender if... you allow your teenage daughter to
have sex or don't do enough to stop her from getting knocked up
|
| You might be a sex offender if... you touched the knees of another
man over 60 years ago
|
| You might be a sex offender if... you have ever taken a picture of
your child playing in the bathtub, or if you have bathed a baby in your tub
|
| You might be a sex offender if... you've ever simulated sex on the
sidewalk
|
| You might be a sex offender if... you had sex with a picnic table
(note: why was the person who videotaped this person NOT charged with creating obscene material?
Hm...)
|
| You might be a sex offender if... you are a teen and you take pictures of yourself and send it to other teens
|
| You might be a sex offender if... you have ever chatted with a teen online, even if you never planned to meet them [unless, of course, you're a senator and/or
John Walsh's friend]
|
| You might be a sex offender if... you have oral sex with an intoxicated partner
|
| You might be sex offender if... you look at a child too long in Maine
|
| You might be a sex offender if... you are caught urinating in public multiple times [courtesy of a blogger at
Reddit]
|
| You might be a sex offender if... you grab the arm of a 14 year old girl to chastise her for stepping in front of your moving car (assist to Ian for this gem)
|
